i was chatting with Mark last night... it turned weird when he started asking about me and Luke. I was confused for the most part by his questions. Where was he going to? What was he talking about? How could I stick to Luke? I wasn't sticking to Luke by choice. We aren't together. What's with the questions? He said he was curious about this side of Luke that i seemed privy to. Wha?

I found out later that he sent me a friendster testimonial:

It's fascinating how leaves just stick to cars after it rains. You could almost imagine the leaves loving the car while the metal thing is indifferent to the affection.

Lol... the issue was my martyrdom. So what if I be the martyr? Isn't that a risk you'd have to take when you love? The risk of being not loved in return? Since I'm in the feeling, why not make use of it? Why not use it as inspiration for art or poetry or prose? I'd never let him read the poems anyway. They're not for him. They're for me and my expression. If I hadn't made use of the feeling, Dama de Noche wouldn't have existed. My deviantart account (which paved the way for amazing friendships) wouldn't have existed. Pregenesis wouldn't have existed.

Love drives me more than hate can. Love drives me to hate. Love drives me to tears. Love drives me to regret, to anguish, to hurt. Is this a fault I must correct? I do not want to be pitied for fighting for something pointless. That's the point. The fight will inspire others to fight for pointless things. If I don't get a happy ending maybe someone else will. Mark may not understand this, nobody may understand this, but like almost everything else in my life, as long as I am content with this and I don't feel wrong about it, I don't care if nobody gives a fuck.

and now to find a guitar to write the theme song for Pregenesis

I didn't get the CDs. I guess Sam was busy.

I was excited to get home. Finally, free internet and free food (that's all I ever waste my money on anyway)!!! Though my brother seems to have erased all my music. No prob. That just means I'll have to download them all again...

I can hog Isidore all i want with the excuse that I need to submit a net article.

Mmmm... I can smell mom's cooking from where I'm sitting. I missed this.

Notes on the boat the other night:

So many familiar faces... faces who never knew me

If death were a tunnel, mine would be inky

the ferry boat is the tunnel between this life and that one.

puera bisita puera bisita puera bisita

if you want to come with me, you'll have to pay the fare..

the scent of efficacent oil on a boat and rosary beads is mommy
the humming of the boat's engine, the scent of the engine and the salt, and the oil, and the engine still.

I still think of the play; I still think of how it could be improved; I still think of french kisses and half-closed eyes; i still think of Khing.
And then I think of deep set eyes that bore into your soul and then I think of Luke. And then I think of him not even watching the play and then I think of the nights I spent trying to perfect the script with his satisfaction in mind. then I go back to thinking of Khing and how his eyes admired me as he smiled before the play.

Heno and I gave Sam a belated birthday gift- a Blue Magic pig we named "Shera". We wrote a little note in the card using a magic pen. The magic pen had a little light on it that revealed the message. It said:

oink oink oink oink oinky OINK oink oink OEEEEEENK OINK oink

translated: happy birthday!! from heno & ara

we called Sam up and went over to Dimsum, invading her family time with the gift. She received the pig quite sweetly... how nice!!! Shera doesn't turn into porkchop... well, cause she isn't edible... (unless sam is on a special diet that includes polyester) We were all lamenting on the little time we had to spend together. Sam's parents suggested we go to handuraw or something. We all hopped into their car and found ourselves in a karaoke joint in Banilad.

The karaoke joint seemed inspired by Star wars and Cruise ship architecture. It reminded me that by now, I was supposed to be on a ship to Naval. I don't even remember what songs we chose. I ignored my colds and my sore throat for the joy of singing without caring whether I destroyed the song or not... darn... the average score I got was 50. the highest score I got was 62... 77 when I sang with someone else... how embarassing... I didn't get even ONE 100. And anyone who got a hundred got a prize... oh noes...oh well. Luke and Sam have potentially good singing voices. Chin's gone through training and I... am a totally diff story...T_T Shera was blamed for all the technical difficulties we went through while choosing what songs to sing and Sam fiercely defended her piglet :) Awww <3 when we made mistakes chosen songs and nobody knew the lyrics, we tried translating the english lyrics to tagalog. I'm rusty. So rusty Luke knew better than me. Sam expressed her amazement at Luke's lingual prowess by going "You're not my brother!!!" Heno was obviously enjoying the karaoke's extensive collection of savage garden songs. Good thing he didn't find "Always". Luke was trying to find out if the place was sound proof. When he discovered it wasn't, he apologized in a loud voice for the noise. Sam replied we had a right to make noise-we paid for the right :D

After the Tornillas chose what songs we sang were going to be burned into a CD to remind us that the world is imperfect, we went to Gonut's to wait for the album. We children went crazy over the magic pens over the donuts. Then it was time to go home. I receive a copy of the album tomorrow. >.<

I had fun. Sam suggested we must do it again. Lalalala... We must perfect the Bohemian Rhapsody

Pregenesis racked 4 awards:

best make-up and costume
best actress (Dionne as the Moon)
best director(me?)
best play

the day was an infusion of many events... the play, public humiliation, and the second and worst day of my period. I'm still reeling from everything that i will blog about it very uneffectively.

the Play was an exhilerating experience. My favorite scene was the fight scene between Night and Sun. The crowd fave was the kissing scene. They couldn't believe anyone would be bold enough to french onstage.

Backstage was chaos. You always have the feeling that you're not doing enough for the betterment of the play. As if you're useless if you aren't doing anything but sitting pretty. The backdrop took forever to install, thank goodness my classmates have big brawny boyfriends...

After the play, we went to MCDO to celebrate.I was relieved it was over. All that hard work, all those sleepless nights were finally over! But there was still one thing I wanted to know-Josh told me and I was crestfallen. I cried all the way to MCDO. It's the hormones. The stress. Everything. They tried cheering me up. I let myself get distracted.

We went back to the venue, me with the plastered smile on my face. The first play for the afternoon was boring. I understood it but i didn't feel it. I received a message from Haidee - she needed the backdrop cloth. I realized it was still on the stage. I went over to josh, who was in charge of the stage and props for the next presentation. He told me to look for something to cut the nylon with. I went backstage and found a saw. People were hooting and cheering. He was on the stage too. he climbed on a ladder and cut the cloth down.

I liked how they portrayed Miss Saigon last year compared to this year. Francis (JR's younger brother) stole the scene once more.

Jay was "Josh" in their performance of "Bang Bang You're Dead". He really suited the role. Lol.

Later, after all performances were done, Sam called me for an intermission number. I seriously didn't know what to sing. So I asked the people what they wanted me to sing. My classmates, who still hadn't gotten over the kissing scene, asked me to sing "Iris". So sing I did... Only then did I notice the words of the song... Too late. the crowd went wild. they were all facing one direction- the blushing broomstick. I didn't finish the song. I didn't know what I was doing anymore... I tried to "change the topic". When I had diverted attention away from me to kuya Ruther, I gave them the mic and made my way to my seat, where I started crying. Kuya Epot suggested I make a hasty exit before anybody notices I blew it again. I did, and as soon as I got there,I screamed. I just needed a breath of fresh air. I went back to the theatre and put on the smile again.

then the reaosn to smile for real- they started announcing the winners... geez... I didn't know what to say.

Exiting was kinda hard since there were extended hands everywhere. Congratulating me, here and there. Occasional hugs. He was always within a 5-m radius. Shit. What face do i have to show him now? I didn't look at him. In my mind I was challenging myself to turn his way, wink and say "Are you going to mock me now?". Couldn't do it. Darn...

Josh gave me advice a little later. I dunno what it's for. And I dunno how to follow it. Lol. Bahala na. Bugo gud kog love love ay...

the day turned out very eventful.

Bye bye money for gold gown... hello spotlights

This morning, I wasn't in the mood to get up. I went to the bathroom and found the culprit of my weak immune system and my shortened patience level- it's the first day of my monthly visit.

Had to hoist my bleeding ass to practice and I arrived to find very few people at the practice venue. I had forgotten that the lead actress went home to get her costume. The lead actor went to mass with one of the stage directors and one of the lead supporting actors; the stage director was getting pissed; the sounds director and the lights director were with me, buying the stuff to make spotlights with (withe the money I had reserved for the renting of my costume), and everybody else was either on the Moon or in Agrabah.

Lunch time, the rain poured. Cellphones were dying all over the world and I was wondering why I hadn't popped yet. I looked around me and found some people showing off the costumes they had sewn for themselves. It was relieveing that there were still those who did their own dirty work. It is true that when you're in the technical crew,you CAN grow to hate the actors and actresses for "not doing anything" when they actually are. We went to the venue and it was near chaotic. We managed to dance around the chaos though. Nichole was there (the potential-what-if-summer-fling-last-summer), with her bf, and they gave comments and suggestions. A while later, I noticed Dionne, the lead actress, blew it on Aireene, the irritating classmate I have been blogging about for the past few posts. I was confused, til gikah told me Aireene made Khing cry. THE NERVE... then Em2x, the sound director, told me Aireene was pestering everyone again. No wonder she suddenly turned lambykins on me... the snake... She bolted out the theatre, as if she were about to cry. Someone followed her and found her laughing like a maniac. That's the last straw. I knew she was up to something.

She left before everyone else. I went after her like a dog sniffing out a fox. Riena lead the way to her boarding house. I came in for the kill.

A little confrontation ensued. And since we were both drama queens, I assure you it was dramatic, though a little awkward since we hadn't rehearsed our lines. She was stuttering and I shredded her til she was nothing but a blubbering piece of shit. She held on to her lies but I could see right through them. She wanted to help. Help? Help what? Help the devil? Hah. What a joke! I left her boarding house in a huff. It was one of the most dramatic episodes of my entire life, and the only witness was Riena. Oh well.

I told Tio. Tio tried giving her a chance but the final decision on whether she was on the play or not was with Amor - the lights director. Thankfully, She didn't consent.

but I'm not yet content.

I'm going to destroy her...

~~~

the play is tomorrow. I don't have a costume yet. I keep on worrying about everything else and I'm not even done with my portfolio yet. If I don't submit a portfolio, I get a guaranteed failing grade. If I do submit, at least I get an INC. Good luck nako ugma!

It's technically already Monday. yesterday was Sam's birthday. So that means.. Pregenesis is showing tomorrow!!!!

We've been practicing the whole afternoon until 10 pm this evening, with breaks of course. I'm happy with the results so far. The most important scenes are already close to expected; The lead man just got his first kiss this morning and the lead woman says he already kisses like a pro (pwede kaha pa-tudlo? murag lami man); the fight scene is close to perfect; the main antagonists are annoyingly saucy enough; and the irritating classmate isn't as irritating anymore; Everybody has costumes cept for Bathala; and I still have my voice and my sanity...

The boarding house just got DSL... we're watching Smallville. It's depressing me by the minute. I just try to imagine it isn't Superman but Superman's son... orrr something... he isn't dorky enough... that's what made the Clark Kent of the big screen and the comic books adorable. Now he's just a cute guy who doesn't have blond hair but has super powers. The series is just too bubblegum cute... too teenieboppy... Why'd they have to make a series out of his teen life? Clark's supposed to have been the dork all his teenage life. This Clark doesn't seem to have too many issues..

I was feverish all morning... My nose is runny and my throat's sore. Lol... I hope I'll have better dreams this time. Nyoink... I dunno... it was the first time I saw people french kissing for real with their mouths showing... I saw tongue.. lol... wasn't too disturbed. I hope I don't dream about THAT... I don't want to be among the classmates who dream about Khing... :D

i had a nightmare last night; my class was in the darkroom (which had magically expanded for some inexplicable reason), rehearsing for our play. Everytime the door would open, we'd stop acting out our roles, as if we were film, being exposed. Everybody froze whenever the door would open. After it would close, we'd go back to the very beginning. We never got to the end of the play.

~~~

Today is friday the thirteenth. I woke up feeling optimistic (despite the nightmare and the date's implications.
Nothing done for journ article. Bad Ara. if I don't pass this class, I'm going to be double warning.
No pictures printed. I'm doomed.

~~~

Rachelle and I went out to find money. We set out with 4 full bags of plastic bottles only to find out everything was only worth 49 pesos. And to think we were walking around with those plastic bottles. Worst comes to worst, at least we were the prettiest garbage collectors you'd see in a 10-km radius. I went over to an ATM machine to withdraw money, so that our travels wouldn't be in vain. I found...1000 pesos added to my account! I was thinkin-mommy was prolly sending me this for the rental of my costume... Yay!!! So we took the moolah and set off to visit the bowels of Colon.

As Rachelle predicted before we set off, it was prolly a bonding experience for us... lol... We anticipated more people coming with us but everybody ended up staying behind. *in monty pythonish english accent*We travelled, the mage and the bard (she being the mage, since mages are known for their scholarly prowess; and me, being the bard...) to the bowels of Colon, where the cement spit out pools of dust; to seek out several items needed by the Magi of the High* to concoct a spell that would better their performance for the Last Test of the Mistress Tio (AKA Crone of the Tio clan).

It's fun to roam around Colon. To look at all the colorful little shops, to find out where everything in those little sidewalk shops come from, to get stuff half the price... etc...

We talked about a lot of things. We constantly worried about Trex, and how she was fairing in the clutches of Aireene... if her mind was still intact. When we got back to school, she was still sane, yet obviously exhausted. Everyone was. but when they did a run through, it was obvious that they were doing miracles while Rachelle and I were away.

Tomorrow is another day.

*students of UP (get it?)

Today was bitch day. I was a big bad bitch. I told someone off for being hard headed... I was tempted to tell her more but I lost my temper. I snubbed Josh for the rest of the day. Didn't know he sent an apology. Oh well. It's not my fault that I was too busy the whole day to read any emails. Practiced the whole morning. Play's turning out fine. Invited Nichole to the "grand rehearsal". Nothing too tragic or too dramatic happened today.

Tomorrow is friday, the thirteenth... yummy day
According to my horoscope,
Aries
March 21 - April 19
Friday, October 13, 2006There should be a certain degree of harmony in the air today, and you might find yourself expressing a great deal of love and affection for everyone right now. Your most important relationships are bound to be your primary focus today. But don't worry, the day's developments are likely to be very satisfying.

I hope this means the play's going to turn out right tomorrow.

Josh is dead.
in my mind.
I no longer have any "adopted brothers".
Specially anyone who's named Josh Junasa.

~~~

major changes on the play... roles switched, lines switched, and debates ensued.

~~~

I knew this was going to be a bad day. It started with tabada asking me about my other two articles and telling me about my shaky class standing.
It worsened when I kept on printing exposed or bad shots; and realized there wasn't enough black and white photopaper.
Somethings happened that helped cool my budding temper.
I thought that was going to be the end of that.
then Josh happened. Selfish tease. He's going to pay for mocking me; for depraving me...

If I had the insight, I would've noticed that my inner voice was telling me "something tells me this is not the day I jump at opportunities". It had started telling me that the moment sir Marx texted me that he was getting annoyed by my questions about the photo development process.

My personalized horoscope could have read something like this:
You are going to experience some bumps along the course of the day. The stress will accumulate and will deceptively be overshadowed by some developments in the love life. But this will also serve as your downfall. Do not jump at opportunities today, you will only end up finding the need to kill somebody.


Hell hath no fury...

I once had a great internet friend-Alain. We were great friends.. till we became "involved". we used to RP about him being an ancient Anne Riceish vampire, and me being Lady Fujima, ruler of several planets here and in other galaxies...

You Should Rule Jupiter

Huge and hot, Jupiter is a quickly turning planet with short days and intense gravity. You are perfect to rule Jupiter, because you are both dominant and kind. You have great strength and confidence, but you never abuse your power. You are always right. Even if you make mistakes, you compensate for them... before anyone knows it. Headstrong and ambitious, you always have a goal in mind. You are optimistic and believe thing things will always work out.

What Planet Should You Rule?

it's 3:12 am... i don't know if my cellphone clock agrees with the internet clock... but I was up all night with Josh, walking the dusty streets of Cebu.

the night is maroon.
enshrining the golden moon
upholding all sentimentalities
all curses, all prophesies
that make young girls swoon
by the beautiful moon

we went from place to place, debating about how to conduct yourself in a police camp; evading suspicious looking men; teasing each other about each other's loves, may God have mercy on their tongues*; eventually discussing the tragedies of love; talking about life and death and of God's purpose; and the most important part-eating.

Fuente osmena was pretty much alive with students studying for the oncoming finals examinations; yuppies; bored rich kids; and other interesting characters. There was one lady who was in black. Her hair was brown from coloring and her lips were red from lipstick. She was wearing pinstripe shorts that hugged her nonexistent ass. And she was clutching a disturbingly bright blue bag. She kept on sitting outside the restaurant as if she was waiting for someone. She was very pretty. She kept on ordering food too.

The night was alive with the blood of the young
Groaning the beat of songs unsung
And the light of several temptations, beckoning
Beckoning to those who were laughing,to those frowning
Feed me with your laughter said the effervescent Night
We share as you gobble up everything in sight

Josh told me about how they walked these streets, him and his gamer friends, looking for battles in virtual forests-Defense of the Ancients. A game I gave up on when i started becoming good at it. They'd visit this one internet cafe and challenge the english speaking med students from cebu Doc... that is, if they weren't in talamban, doing the same.

And you my friend, a bard of sorts
Tell me the story of you and your cohorts
As you launch in a campaign
To earn new domain
Over lands that you cannot touch or hear
Over trophies you cannot hold dear

It's fun bonding with adopted brothers. Too bad I never got to do it with my real brother.

practice went well today. I can't believe we were actually able to have a run through of all the scenes! Now I know why the annoying classmate was being annoying-she didn't know what a stage manager was supposed to be. She thought the stage director title meant she was supposed to direct scenes too.

Miss Tio asked for me. I went over to the hum. div., ever the obedient student and asked what she wanted of me. She began making small talk about the play. I told her we were planning to make programs to distribute. She said that was a great idea, and she said she'd tell everyone else to do the same since it was going to be more convenient for the judges. I grimaced. everyone was going to kill me when they found out. my classmates-for spilling the beans; all the other blocks-for giving them more work to do.

While i was still biting my lips in regret, she proceeded on giving me a speech on teachers recognizing gifts in their students, then she went on about if i wanted to join a writer's workshop.
I was all ears.

She told me it was a 3-day-all-expenses-paid-workshop. All I had to do was submit 5 poems or 1 short story to a certain email address. She didn't have the email address with her so she told me to go on with the practice and come back later. She asked for my number and off I went. After the practice, she expounded on the details. She was worried that 20+ student from CNU were going and if my writing was approved of, only 1 from UP would go. So she began telling me about these two other students she wanted to contact aside from me.

Guess what. They just happen to be L*** and J**.

me: Uhmmm.. I know those two, but i'm going to have a leeeetle problem contacting L***

ms. Tio: I see that you and L*** have a lot of commonalities, your personalities may clash...

me: actually, friends man mi ni L***, ambot lang niya... wala lang mi tagdanay ron...

ms. Tio: basig ang inyong conflict kay "romantic"

Oh miss Tio, you have no idea how big the iceberg you've discovered really is... I could hear Jared's voice somewhere in my head saying "If the topic's about love or sex, she'll stand up" so I tried to deny anything I could and tried to revert the topic back to the workshop. Her parting words made me cringe- "We'll talk more about that later".

I was on my way out the door when I realized- the workshop was going to be an All-Women's Workshop.

Hay Women...

I was in the middle of my lengthy blog entry on ate Julie's pregnancy when somebody in an orange blouse comes up and presses the power button on my PC... ZYRA ba... nasayop na sad kag pislit!!!!!"at least you can include me in your rantings this time..." she said with a guilty cheshire cat's grin on her face...

Anyway, ate Julie gave birth last dawn according to Zyra. That is a very awkward statement... "Last Dawn"... oh well... it sounds like a title for a movie... Zyra says it's better than "the other dawn"... anyway... at the beginning of the sem, news of ate Julie's pregnancy was kept in hush hush tones. It was unthinkable that ate Julie, who always had a nose in a book, if she wasn't fighting for student's rights, or trying to sell you stuff, would get pregnant out of wedlock. But she did it. She got pregnant. Eventually, we came to a point where we'd greet her unborn baby instead of her... I'm sooo jealous...

One of my classmates has an ovarian seist, and over the last months, has acquired several lumps on her breasts because of a misplaced kick from an over enthusiastic cheerdancer. She talks about her sickness as if it were a walk in the park, and about death as if she was getting married. I'm the only one who laughs along with her.

I have a friend who has hormonal imbalance. And she's into a lesbian relationship with her bestfriend.

All of these things still shock people at so many different levels. But it's life. I just recalled these people because the classmate is visiting ate Julie, and so is the lesbian couple with me tagging along. It's an image made for the big screen... lol.

White stockings on her dainty feet
Dainty feet that pitter softly
Despite the limp
Afraid to disturb,
Afraid to waken
But I had been awake
All this time
Slipping off the borrowed dress
Her impish smile
Is more than I can take
Convinced nobody sees how
She slipped off the borrowed dress
As I admire
The pert curve of her chest
And the tiny red mark
A little above her abdomen
The bluish marks
Trailing below it,
Around it,
Above it,
Over it,
Under it
Everywhere
Specially on her thigh,
Just above where her dress ends
No wonder she limps.

my brother left for naval today.
Oh well.
I'm an only child orphan again (just nod for drama's sake).
Josh's right. There's no use blaming myself for something that was both our fault. He just couldn't take it. There's no use trying to see it any other way.
To lighten the mood, here's a little comedy for you

~~~

Practice went well today. We're actually going somewhere this time. Though a lot of people were absent, we actually accomplished a lot today. We still need choreography for the fight scenes since kuya Harvey went home for the weekend, but I hope everything works out by next week.

~~~

My irritation with my "helpful" classmates has reached new heights. She got the point of my coldness. She hasn't been attending practices and our film mysteriously got exposed. I have a feeling it was her revenge (she was the last one to handle the camera). We don't really need her in the practices since she's a stage manager-instructions can come later. And the film? No sweat. Zaki's going home to Dumaguete to get her cam (since my cam's still being borrowed) and the film she left behind (prolly by the guidance of some force of nature that sensed we would need the film later). We're just going to have to worry about the deadline.

I'm openly flogged like a witch burned in the town square. Hey... that just gave me an idea for a story... so much for that. It's no wonder he ignores me, I ignore him back :-D and it's no wonder he doesn't notice me, I do double!
In my mind's eye, my conscience is stooping down on me, waving a finger at me and saying, "Now what do you have to say for yourself Ara?", and little old me just pops out a tongue at the Conscience :P . There's nothing I can do about my supladaness. I'm just built that way. If I feel I'm going to embarass myself more by noticing the person than by openly snubbing the person even if I'm just beside him/her, then I choose the latter.
Sometimes this can be frustrating, specially if the person you snub occassionaly is also a moody greeter. And this issue has become really old. Really old.
Sense tells me something should be done about it. But like everything else in me, Sense only helps me halfway and tells me just that, and not a clue about what exactly I have to do about it. It is a tiring situation but like i can do anything about it. I'm not the type to flirt. I cannot flirt. I dunno how to flirt. I suck at flirting.
Therefore I must give up. I must continue to pretend I don't have feelings for him, or better yet, that he isn't there. Maybe someday, I'll be able to believe myself. Then there won't be no bee in my bonnet.

you must read The Woman With Two Navels by Nick Joaquin...

it reminds me of Rizal's El Filibusterismo with a touch of Anne Rice in it. It might have been a very disturbing book during the time it was published. Illusion and reality are his instruments, and Joaquin makes very good music out of it. You relate to all his characters though you'd rather not admit it. The dirtiness and the filthiness represented by Concha and Connie is something that is in us all, that we desperately hide in furs and pearls, Whatever the amount.

I gave a full report on the novel in class today though I don't remember what I said anymore... Miss Tio was happy with my report.. now I'm happy... could it boost my grade? I can't remember when I was this concerned for my grades. Maybe because the subject's about literature... yet i don't go to class when i dont't feel like it. I don't submit assignments, and I defy the teacher's opinions in class... Oh well. Say hello to me, the student from Hell.

I just scared someone away on ym. he/she was being mysterious and acting all innocent on who i was... oh, he/she couldn't act all innocent on me.. I DON'T ENTER CHATROOMS ANYMORE. everything that has my email address on it also has my name too.

On Friendster, one of the most abused social networking sites on the planet, I received a testimonial from a classmate, and it turned out to be a photoslide of our class. I noticed I had very little participation in the pictures-never was one to squeeze into crowds even for group pics... I almost always ended up on the lower part of the picture where nobody would compete with my portion of the photo. I've finally found a pose in my class's group picture. If we have Chloe with the dazzline smile yet mischievous glint in her eye, or April with the confident yet simple grin, I'm the dark splotch on the bottom corner of the pic. At first that's what I'd seem. but if you look closely, you'd see the TEETH!!! I'm one of the scariest persons I know... hyukhyukhyuk.

To those who are curious enough to read this post (Come to think about it, nobody ever DOES read my posts here *evillaugh), this is a chat archive between me and a close friend, Epot, who likes to think he's matchmaker extraordinaire. He can be annoying sometimes, specially when he assumes the whole world knows what he means by "submarine". The submarine thing was a diff issue that came from a misunderstanding also brought by this accursed chatting. Kuya Epot believes when you "submarine" someone, it means you are stealing the person from their loved one. According to Andrew E.'s song, the term is also used in more sexually suggestive overtones. I had to asterisk the names of the other people involved lest their names come up in search engines and they find their way into my little hell hole.

mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:20:23 PM): CURSE YOU
blood_jaenus (10/2/06 7:20:29 PM): me?
blood_jaenus (10/2/06 7:20:36 PM): what for?
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:20:38 PM): YES YOU
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:20:46 PM): YOU TOLD J**
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:20:49 PM): DON'T LAUGH
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:20:55 PM): YOU MISCHIEVOUS LITTLE...
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:21:14 PM): WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU TELL HIM?
blood_jaenus (10/2/06 7:22:01 PM): the misunderstanding between submarine and "submarine
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:22:07 PM): no
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:22:09 PM): you told him
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:22:11 PM): he told me
blood_jaenus (10/2/06 7:22:12 PM): that's all i swear
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:22:19 PM): nagkachat mi (we chatted)
blood_jaenus (10/2/06 7:22:19 PM): ooops
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:22:25 PM): liar
blood_jaenus (10/2/06 7:23:08 PM): he understands and i made him swear not to tell HIM
blood_jaenus (10/2/06 7:23:21 PM): if he does just tell me and i'll take care of it
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:23:29 PM): what do you mean he "understands"?
blood_jaenus (10/2/06 7:24:13 PM): he understands the situation
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:25:32 PM): that's pretty vague if you ask me
blood_jaenus (10/2/06 7:26:12 PM): what's so vague bout that?
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:27:21 PM): "he understands the situation"
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:27:28 PM): how does he understand the situation?
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:27:48 PM): a.)ara is an obsessed little girl who is currently obsessed with l***... keep l*** away
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:27:59 PM): b.)ara is insane
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:28:04 PM): c.)all of the above?
blood_jaenus (10/2/06 7:28:11 PM): a
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:28:23 PM): :(
blood_jaenus (10/2/06 7:28:38 PM): you know an observation?
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:28:59 PM): what?
blood_jaenus (10/2/06 7:29:21 PM): if something that hints at HIM knowing this "attraction", you overreact
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:30:37 PM): who made this observation?
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:31:59 PM): wui
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:32:30 PM): who made this observation?
blood_jaenus (10/2/06 7:32:37 PM): me
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:32:55 PM): obviously
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:33:04 PM): you're the only one who has seen how i overreact
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:33:14 PM): because you're the only one who TEASES ME ABOUT IT
blood_jaenus (10/2/06 7:33:59 PM): :D
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:34:11 PM): you have the gall to smile about it
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:34:18 PM): >.<
blood_jaenus (10/2/06 7:34:34 PM): well thats me
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:34:47 PM): you know what i went through the whole weekend?
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:34:51 PM): friday:
blood_jaenus (10/2/06 7:35:00 PM): ok start
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:35:05 PM): j** on stairs: ara, nangita si l*** nimo (ara, l***'s looking for you)
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:35:21 PM): (me planted frown on face) why? what for?
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:35:25 PM): j**: shrugs
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:35:54 PM): me (left alone to think)
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:36:02 PM): why could l*** be looking for me
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:36:24 PM): :( i hope this isn't one of epot's matchmaking attempts
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:36:58 PM): >:( i hope l***'s not looking for me because he's looking for epot again...
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:37:29 PM): :O oh no!!!!!! they could be together right now and kuya epot could be fulfilling what he said a few weeks ago about telling l***
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:37:37 PM): epot, buttfucker
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:37:52 PM): (me runs into j** at covered walk)
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:37:58 PM): NAGKUYOG SI L*** UG SI EPOT? (IS L*** WITH EPOT?)
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:38:06 PM): j**: no...
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:38:09 PM): j**:(laughs)
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:38:16 PM): j**: ara, submarines
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:38:21 PM): ara: OH NOOOOOOOOOblood_jaenus (10/2/06 7:38:41 PM): ROFL
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:38:52 PM): j**: nagcomputer man to si epot... (epot was on the computer)
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:39:01 PM): ara: nganong nangita man si l*** nako?(why is l*** looking for me?)
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:39:06 PM): j**: (shrugs)
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:39:19 PM): me (left alone to ponder again) OH NOOOOOOO
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:39:40 PM): the submarine thing started with kuya epot threatening me he'd "submarine" l***
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:39:47 PM): and that's where the confusion starts
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:40:24 PM): mental question #1: could epot have told j** about that? the implications are soooo obvious
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:40:28 PM): i'm doomed
blood_jaenus (10/2/06 7:40:55 PM): OA
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:41:01 PM): mental question #2: could j** have told l*** when they saw each other, prolly after he saw epot?
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:41:15 PM): mental question#3: why is l*** looking for me?
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:41:41 PM): mental question #3.1 maybe it's about mental question #2
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:42:11 PM): mental question #3.2 maybe it's like why c*** was looking for me, to use me for his demo speech...
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:42:35 PM): mental question #3.2.a what could his demo speech be about
blood_jaenus (10/2/06 7:42:54 PM): you lost me
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:43:00 PM): the list of questions is endless
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:43:11 PM): i'm a complicated person
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:43:26 PM): this is why i cannot live in a simple world
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:43:37 PM): this morning
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:43:42 PM): i was determined to ask l***
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:43:48 PM): why he was looking for me
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:43:53 PM): if it's because he needs help from me
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:44:10 PM): good, at least i get a chance to help him out and be near him at the same time
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:44:44 PM): if he's going to interrogate me about my liking him.. i'll swallow my pride
blood_jaenus (10/2/06 7:44:53 PM): he needed you?
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:44:56 PM): but when he was right in front of me
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:45:02 PM): i looked away
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:45:07 PM): i didn't even greet him
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:45:11 PM): he walked away
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:45:16 PM): now i'm stumped
blood_jaenus (10/2/06 7:47:37 PM): only ara
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:47:56 PM): huh?
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:48:03 PM): whaddya mean "only ara"
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:49:50 PM): hui
blood_jaenus (10/2/06 7:50:12 PM): ikaw ray mu-ingon ana (you're the only one who'd do that/ who'd say that)
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:50:40 PM): asa ba dapit ang ako ray makaingon (which part does the only I can do/say come in?)
blood_jaenus (10/2/06 7:51:14 PM): reaction ba
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:51:28 PM): the looking away?
blood_jaenus (10/2/06 7:52:04 PM): yup?
mute_laughter89 (10/2/06 7:53:04 PM): that's me