i don't want another aborted baby...

i've had too much already

i want this one to live

i want this brainchild to be succesful

pregenesis shall win first prize. first prize calls for a flat one.

whatever am i talking about?

in case my older version will not understand what 17-year old ara means, here's a translation.

ara is a BIG procrastinator. she's very lazy. there's a lot she could do, if she weren't such a big baby.

she didn't want their class play to turn out girly and flowery, as it would have turned out had her classmates imposed their leadership on the project. They do tend to be too pastel, they become kindergarten...

so she desperately started looking for plays that were NOT girly.

they turned down chicago cause somebody already did it.

then she had a brilliant idea. what about ressurecting one of her aborted brainchildren?

so she started talking to some of her classmates about it, and eventually went up to the teacher about it. during their class, the teacher announced that ara would man the project. I wasn't expecting to head the project, i only suggested a script?

I went to the front, a little frightened. I said i wanted to impose since i knew my grades were bad. Then madame piped from behind me that on the contrary, they were quite good (she obviously forgot that i didn't pass a lot of the requirements and I did not come to class often and I did not give an oral report).Then i told them the story. They liked it (thank goodness). I discussed the details with them, even made a little speech about wishing everyone would trust me enough and cooperate. I wanted aggression out of them and they listened. I hope this really becomes succesful. I want that flat one. even though madame insists I don't need it, i want to prove something to myself. i want to prove to myself that I'm not really pathetic. that I CAN get something if I put my mind on it and if I work hard enough. Quite selfish but doesn't everything start with the self? I want that flat one. And nobody's going to stop me.